Your Voice Counselling, Bristol: Getting through Christmas

How to Cope with Christmas

Christmas can be hard to cope with for many, for a variety of reasons. 

Feeling down at Christmas time can cause even more distress, because the expectation is that we should feel happy. So, we can end up feeling as if we are failing. 

Below is some advice on how to tackle Christmas if your health or mental health is low. 

Be Aware

The first step is to realise that Christmas is full of social expectations. That you spend time with family. That you 'be merry'. Unfortunately, for many, these expectations can bring up a lot of sadness, pain, even anxiety and/or depression. Many of us do not have "family", or may have recently lost family members. As well as this, for various reasons, you may not feel 'merry' at this point in your life. You might be struggling with loneliness, addiction, depression, grief, social anxiety, stress, unemployment, debt, or any number of other stressful life events or mental health issues. To feel unable to meet these expectations to 'Be Merry' can leave anyone feeling excluded, inadequate, or judged. 

The first step with coping with Christmas then is to recognise these expectations for what they are - expectations. Often, expectations differ radically from reality. That's not your fault. 

Self-Care

The second step to coping with Christmas is to remind yourself that you are good enough. A good way of doing this is to take active steps towards self-care. These activities can be anything which makes you feel more relaxed, sensual, pleasured, or happy. These include:

• Warm baths
• Walks in nature
• Massage
• Art (if it is enjoyable to do, rather than hyper-stimulating)
• Spa Retreat
• "Me Time"
• Anything else that you enjoy or get pleasure out of...

For an extensive list of pleasurable activities, you can visit this web page.

Connect

Putting aside the expectation to be around family at Christmas, it is still a good idea to try and seek to connect with others. Even if you don't initially feel up to it, it's a good idea to attend social events. If this isn't possible, calling a friend or even organising a cup of coffee with them can be really helpful in reducing feelings of loneliness or isolation. You'd be surprised how many people feel lonely in the winter time. They may even appreciate the call. 

Seeking Support

If you are really struggling you might think about seeking counselling or psychotherapy. If you think this might help, you can contact your local GP or medical practitioner for advice on finding a therapist in your local area. If you live in the UK, the BACP Find a Therapist Website can help you find a counsellor / psychotherapist in your local area.

If you need immediate help, or struggle for whatever reason to connect with others in your life, The Samaritans are an excellent organisation if you live in the UK. They are great at listening and have helped hundreds of thousands of people over the years. You could call them now and talk things through with them. They are always happy to listen.

If you live in Bristol, and you think you'd like a consultation session with me, please feel free to check out my website, Your Voice Counselling, Bristol for further information about counselling and psychotherapy, or go to my contact me page for ways to get in touch.

Authored by John McGuirk, Your Voice Counselling, Bristol